Formal Introductory Letter
Dear Prof Blackstone,
Hello, I am Derek from MDME. I studied in Singapore Polytechnic and graduated with a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering. From my youth, what sparked my interest in engineering was my curiosity about how objects interact with each other physically, and how it correlates with maths and physics. In my diploma course, I learnt how to solve complex problems related to design, manufacturing, and maintenance of mechanical systems. This was further enhanced with my hands on experience in my internship at a precision engineering company, where I was assigned to the role of assistant process engineer. My responsibilities include machining raw materials and ensuring they were of precise dimensions. This experience deeply enhanced my passion for engineering on top of the modules that I studied over the course of my diploma.
My communication strengths is clarity in expression. When conveying information, I have the ability to explain my thoughts in a clear and concise manner. I provide well-structured and organized messages, making it easy for others to understand my ideas. This strength is particularly beneficial in professional settings, as it ensures that your colleagues or team members can understand the essential points without confusion. However, one weakness I face is that I may overexplain certain points, and overall people might overload on the information and miss out on the key points. I am working on improving on this part by further summarizing my points in group meetings and ensuring that my fellow groupmates or future colleagues can understand the points that I am trying to convey better.
For my goals of this module, I hope that I am able to gain better communication skills for group projects in my other modules, as well as better convey key points in meetings and presentations. This will greatly improve my ability to work with others in my future job opportunities. What differentiates myself from others is that during my free time, I like to study and read up on different languages. I find other cultures very unique and would like to understand them better as I travel to different parts of the world during my holidays. I hope this formal introductory letter will get you to understand me better.
Regards,
Derek
Hi Derek! It is nice getting to know more about you! It was nice reading about what you did during your poly and you like to read up on different languages! That is not an easy thing to do! I think that you managed to convey yourself clearly aside from some minor phrasing in the second paragraph as you were talking about your strength but said "your colleagues" instead of "my colleagues" as you were refering about yourself I presume? Aside from that, It is nice getting to know you better and I look forward to working with you!
ReplyDeleteHello Derek! I enjoy reading your self introduction and your goals.
ReplyDeleteI feel that your content is great as each points comes with an example to explain and elaborate. But like what you have said in the content, you tend to over-explain. I would prefer if you could summarize more of your examples.
Overall is a good introduction! I hope you could achieve what you want by the end of this module. Good luck!
Good day Derek,
ReplyDeleteYour letter paints a clear picture of your engineering background and aspirations. I noticed, like you mentioned, you have a tendency to go into a lot of detail. Maybe consider breaking down that second paragraph into smaller chunks? Splitting it into separate sections for strengths & weaknesses and then your goals could make it more digestible. Overall, it's a solid introduction, and I'm looking forward to collaborating and getting to know you better.
Good day Derek,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your self introduction. You've been very detailed about your past experiences and also what you wish to achieve at the end of the module. However, I felt that the examples you gave for what sets you apart from your peers are not clearly fomulated and they do not gel very well. Apart from that, "Diploma in Mechanical Engineering" need not be writen with upper case as previously discussed in class. Finally, I look forward to interacting and knowing you more in class!
Keep up the good work!
Robin
Dear Derek,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this well articulated, clearly developed and informative letter. You address the key components of the brief and provide substantial details. For instance, I like how you have described the way your previous work experience and the diploma coursework inspired you. You also elaborated well on your communication strength and weakness. Your letter aligns well with what you see as a strength: the ability to express yourself in a clear and organized manner.
There are some language issues to take note of here:
1. verb tense
-- My responsibilities include machining raw materials and ensuring they were of precise dimensions. > > (Are you still working at the company?)
2. phrasing/word use
-- My communication strengths is clarity.... > (Plural or singular?)
-- ...it ensures that your colleagues.... > (Mine? It's better to be objective, using "one's colleagues")
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad